What I've Become
by Poalita
Summary: It was impossible to not know what I was while looking into the ruby red eyes of my reflection. About Carlisle's last day as a human and his changing. Carlisle's POV.
1. PART I

"CARLISLE!"

My head snapped up, soon followed by the rest of my body. I walked to my door and out into the hallway. My father stood there and waited for me to answer to him. Even old and stooped with age, leaning on his walking stick, he still managed to strike respect into my heart. I bowed my head and answered him.

"Yes, Father?"

"The McCray's are still acting quite odd if you ask me. Have you thought to accuse them yet?"

"No, Father. The McCray's can come out during the day and do not have red eyes. They cannot be monsters. They must be worried about something or other." I saw the disappointment in his eyes. He would have accused first and wondered if they really were evil later. I knew he did not like the way I conducted the hunts for monsters. I just did not like seeing the innocent being burned. So much life is wasted.

"Carlisle," my father interrupted my little reflection. "I do not think you are made to lead these hunts. You will not prosecute until you have all the facts and while you are gathering them people are dying. Maybe I should place someone else-"

"Father," I quickly interrupted him. I did not want to be a disappointment to my father, but I still refused to take away human life needlessly. A monster's life however... "I am conducting a hunt tonight. I was just organizing it. The people are meeting me at the sewers entrance. I think I have found a coven of true vampires." I was certain in my facts. While walking home from gather facts about the McCray's I had seen a man emerge from the sewers. I was curious until I saw his eyes. The deep crimson, almost a black, had haunted my dreams the past few nights.

"Really, now. That is good. Make sure you have your torch and remember to burn anything infected by the monster."

"Of course, Father." I took a quick glance out of one of the windows. Twilight was just ending. The monsters would be out soon. "I shall take my leave now, Father. The people are probably waiting for me." With that, I turned to leave. Just as I reached the door to the outside world, my father's voice stopped me.

"Good luck, my son." I turned back around to see him smiling at me, pride showing in his eyes. I finally had the approval of my father. I smiled back before turning quickly and leaving.


	2. PART II

I looked around at the crowd of people. A good many had shown, carrying their torches and pitchforks. I hoped there would be enough to capture and kill the monsters. Everyone was gathered new the sewer entrance, waiting for the monsters to show themselves. The moonlight allowed me to see slightly into the tunnel. If the clouds moved much more however, we would lose that advantage.

"Are you sure this is where they are, Carlisle?" I turned quickly to see Billy Scots. It was his first hunt and he looked nervous. I guess he had reason to. I hurried to reassure him and ease his fears.

"Yes, and everyone will be fine, Billy. We have done this before." I left off the part that most of those hunts had been against humans. No need for him to become anxious again.

Suddenly, the whole crowd quieted. I strained my hearing and sight to find out why. What I saw made my pulse jump and my breathing quicken. Standing at the entrance was an amazingly handsome man, even covered in waste. He suddenly called out in Latin, something about the food and fire, before taking off through the streets. My body responded without my giving it a command. Before I knew what was happening I was running after him, with more people running behind. I caught sight of his skin, glowing dimly in the moonlight. I was surprised to be keeping up with him. In the few hunts against actual monsters that I knew of, the monster was always too fast to keep up with. Then I saw why.

Every few steps he would seem to stumble. He looked weak and drawn. I absently wondered how long it had been since he had eaten. I got the answer to that question when he stopped. He turned to look at me with coal black eyes. I froze at the sight. He seemed to be debating something. His face was pained and torn. I knew then that he had not actually been stumbling but fighting his instincts. Then I heard the footsteps of the mob behind him as they caught up. I knew he heard them, too, as he turned to run once more. However, before I could even draw a breath he had turned back around and was running towards me.

I threw my right arm up in self-defence. I felt a searing pain as his teeth entered my hand. The world tilted to the side and I realized I was falling backwards. The jarring as I hit the ground made him lose hold of my hand. He quickly attacked again, this time biting my right elbow. Again, the searing pain started. This time a fire started as well. It was then that I heard the welcome sounds of footfalls echoing in the alleyway. The mob was close. The monster quickly let go of my elbow and attacked my neck. The fire traveling down my arm distracted me from his movement. That is, until the fire started in my neck as well. I heard screams, soon realizing they were my own. That was all it took for the mob to find us.

Their yelling soon joined my screams. The monster released me to defend himself. As I hit the ground once again, I stopped screaming. The mob needed to think I was dead. I still remembered my father's words earlier that evening. 'Remember to burn anything infected by the monster.' I was infected. I would have to be killed and burned. I could not let that happen.

While trying to think of a plan with the fire coursing through my veins, I saw two bodies fall. Apparently, I was not the only one about to die. I saw the monster grab another man and run. The mob followed. I tried to see who had fallen, who had followed me to their death. I realized I could not see anything. Where had the moonlight gone? A drop of water hit my forehead, soon followed by another. The clouds had moved to cover the moon and were now losing their weight. Maybe I could the rain to my advantage. An idea formed in my head, semi-blocking the pain. If I could crawl somewhere away from here, hide myself, maybe I would survive. The rain would wash away the trail of my blood. It might just save me from being burned.

I tried to lift my head, and found that it was a bad idea. It made the fire intensify in my neck and almost made me cry out. My head connected with the ground again. I could not even feel that pain above the fire. Another idea came to mind. If the pain of the fire could block out other pains, because it was in the forethought of my mind, maybe if I tried to ignore it, block it out with other thoughts, I would be able to handle the pain. I pushed all thoughts of pain to the back of my mind and concentrated on the movement of my body and repeating and refining my plan.

This time I managed to get into an upright position. Gritting my teeth and again pushing the pain to the side, I started to crawl. I did not bother with where I was going as long as it was away from there. After I left the alleyway, I started looking for a place to hide. My salvation was in seeing the slightly open cellar door. I crawled towards it, pulling myself in. I eased my way down the steps, pain blossoming every time I moved. As I reached the bottom, I looked for a place to hide. The only one least likely for me to be found in was a pile of rotting potatoes. I pulled myself over to the pile and started burying myself.

Once completely covered I tried to relax. I could do no more to save myself. However, that was a bad idea. As soon as my mind began to wander the pain returned full force. I bit down on my tongue to stop myself from crying out. Apparently, I still needed to distract myself. I closed my eyes and began to go over scriptures and such that my father had taught me. I could still feel the pain, but tried my best to block it.

I lost track of the days I had spent in hiding. All I knew was the pain and the now meaningless words going through my head. I was growing drowsy and the pain seemed to be dying down. I noticed my breathing slowing down and the blood slowed the pounding in my ears. Suddenly, both stopped and the world was lost in blackness.

I gasped in a breath and my eyes fluttered open. The pain had stopped. Well, most of it anyway. My throat was still burning. I was desperate for a drink, something to stop the burning. I listen to see if anyone was around. I received a great shock when I realized that I could hear the couple two floors up perfectly, along with their heartbeats. The burn in my throat intensified while I was listened to them. I sat up in a hurry, rotting potatoes flying across the room at my sudden movement. I hurried over to an old mirror.

What I saw would have stopped my heart, if it had still been beating. I started to cry tearless sobs. It was impossible to not know what I was while looking into the ruby red eyes of my reflection.

I was now a vampire. I was now one of the monsters.


End file.
